So I am so happy - I have officially completed my goal of fasting monday wednesday AND friday. Well not true - it will be complete when I leave work, but I dont plan on eating before I leave work and this is only time I will have to write today, so for all intents and purposes, I DID IT!
Ive said it time and time again - its really not that hard at all. Im telling you, on fasting days Im literally a nicer - happier person. Im nicer to my students, have more energy, and get more done.
Yesterday was the perfect example of why I love fasting so much. Yesterday was a normal eating day and I was miserable - my stomach was in knots, I was gassy and bloated, and I even had to put my head down during planning because I was so exhausted.
I honesly cannot actually wrap my head around it myelf. Conventional wisdom tells us that food is fuel and keeps us going - how is it that food is turning into oppostite fuel for me at this point...
We had a guest teacher here yesterday and he was discussing fasting as well. He noted that when we are all consuming, our cells are rapidly dividing, but when we starve them, they end up going into repair mode and can actually repair damaged DNA. This is good for me as I wreak havoc on my body with all the weekend beers and occasional ciggarette - somoething I am definitely not proud of considering I committed to quitting in 2008... oh well, good thing im fasting!
Im not really sure of other/new revalations that are coming out of it to contribute to me blogging about it... Other than my initial revalations of having more control over myself and food and feeling better, I cant really say that any more is really coming from it.
My challenge next week, is going to be fasting combined with exercise. My sickness is finally resolving itself and Im feeling ready to enter back into exercise. I miss having muscles. I felt like having muscles and a lean body really set me apart from other people - made me unique. At this point im not even really sure what im worth so soft and larger. Time to hit the weights again and get the identity I loved back and make a future for myself.
I think the biggest challenge I am coming across right now is the whole "Ill do this once Im lean/fit again" and not pursuing things UNTIL I reach that goal. For example, I really really need a new career and am considering grad school, but I dont want to be pursing anything till I feel good physcially. To get into a new career I am going to have to do some major networking and interviewing. I cant go to a network even as a size 12/14... size 12/14 doesnt look good in a suit and takes up a lot of space in an already crowded environment. I KNOW how rediculous this sounds. Im reading it as I write it. I totally get it. Im thinking the same thing. BUT its the thinking that plaques my mind. I cant imagine the me I am now being the first choice of a new company. People like pretty people. People like skinny people. Espcially with me aging, I need to have the edge of a rockin body.
Moreover, i am thinking grad school as an option as well. Im not as nervous about my current condition getting in the way of my acceptance to a school, but I do imagine it will make a difference. I will need to set up a preliminary information gathering session with the program director and i want to be able to have her look at qualifications and why i deserve to be in the program rather than her look at me overweight and assume im lazy and that i wont work hard in grad school because i dont work hard to keep my body healthy. these are all real issues. Some people who have never dealt with being overweight do not realize how discrimintory people are - hell - i discriminated against heavy people when i was fit... So i know it happens. So theres that...
Funny story: some people really cannot wrap thier heads around why i am taking on fasting. At lunch the other day, a co-worker piped her two (non)cents in with, "Glime, why arent you eating, have you ever heard of going to the gym?" The entire lunch room burst with laughter - including people I would consider my confidants. Im not too sad over it - its not something that ruined my day, if anything I feel a little "above" them because ive managed to reach a higher level of self awareness and control that is only born from depriving one's self of a basic human need. Monks have been doing it for centuries in order to reach new levels of enlightenment and self-actualization. Its a pretty incredible experience. I think the misconception is that its all about the weight loss, and it is on some levels, but its more about being able to redifine myself and redifine my relationship with food. The poor relationship with food is what keeps me overweight so if i can redefine it then the lbs will shed off naturally and permanantly. Haters gonna hate.
New Goals: Now that I have accomplished my 3day/week fast, I now want to venture into some new terratory. As I mentioned earlier, exercising while fasting, and adding more hours to my fast - to 36 hours. I think i will do the exercise one first then on a non-exercise day, try for the longer hours. Will keep you posted! Happy Friday and Have a good Halloween!!
Jeannette
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